Chopped Ninja Warrior

Wes and I are really into cooking competition shows.  Chopped is our favorite.

That being said, I oftentimes feel like I'm in my own version of a cooking competition when it comes to making dinner.  Except I'm not given certain wacky ingredients that I need to use in my cooking, but rather certain obstacles.  So imagine Chopped mixed with American Ninja Warrior.  Yup.  Sums it up.

I am the competitor. My overall goal is to make an edible meal.  Nothing fancy, just edible.

It starts out easy enough.  Two babies paying with measuring cups on the floor, two defrosted chicken breasts.  I turn on the oven, which instantly heats the kitchen to 100 degrees.

I then chop the onion which instantly makes me tear up. . and the dogs come running.  I now have two giant dogs sniffing and wagging and all up in my space.  Following me from stove top to refrigerator, to stove top, to refrigerator.  Chop chop chop.  The dog's noses are inches from my cutting board.  One dog, the fat fluffy one, goes and lays down next to the hot oven.  This then draws Finny attention. He squeals and laughs as he army crawls his way over to the dog.  Midas is not fond of Finny and the tuft of hair he pulls out, so he moves, and moves, and moves, creating a fun little game for Finn.

Next obstacle, Audrey.  She decides she'd really like to stand up now. On me.  She crawls over, grabs my leg, and pulls herself up on my legs. I'm stuck. If I move, she will fall.  I try to do as much as I can without moving my legs.

I now have one dog following my every move, just in case I drop something, one baby chasing around the other dog all around the kitchen, and the other baby holding on to my legs.

Beep.  Beep. Beep.  My chicken is done baking, but there is a wobbly baby on my leg, a dog blocking the oven, another baby crying because said dog keeps running from him, and another dog I'm convinced will jump on this counter and eat anything she finds.

I am sweating profusely.
I will NOT cook dinner tomorrow.
I'm convinced you have to be a Ninja Warrior to make dinner.
The end.




Then they ate dinner. . . Man vs. Food