All shook up

Our Friday night last night started like any other.  We put the kids down at 8, and folded laundry in the living room watching March Madness.  Riveting I know.

Then at 9,  the house creaked and began to shake.  Wes and I looked at each other knowing it was an earthquake and ran down the hall to the nursery to grab the kids.  We swooped them up and stood in a doorway (which you're technically not supposed to do)  After the shaking stopped, we walked outside in the backyard (which is the number one thing you shouldn't do.) Our neighbor yelled over the fence to make sure we were okay.

Not how we reacted to the earthquake, but definitely the song that came to mind as it was happening.

We put the kids back to bed making sure to take all pictures off the wall.  Even if the pictures weren't near their cribs. . who knows those things can fly.  Wes is also currently trying to come up with a lid-type device to place over the cribs.  I kid, but if they could now live in a bubble, I'd be down with that.

We then watched the news coverage.  5.1 earthquake, which is moderate in size.  We came up with a family plan in case "the big one" hits.

My plan:  to stay in the house.  We have food, water, and baby supplies, however my first instinct is to get the heck out of here.  I'm not sure where I'd go, but I just have the reaction of, "Get Out!"

If I'm at my mom's house, I stay there.  If I'm out and about, head to the closest house (my house or my mom's)

The only reason to ever leave my house is the Zombie Apocalypse.  That is it.

Wes' plan: to come home.  If he's unable to drive home he is fully prepared to "gear up," grab a riffle, and make the 30 mile hike home.  I picture Denzel Washington in Book of Eli.

If not Denzel, then he'd look like this for sure.  

After coming up with a plan, watching endless coverage of the earthquake, and checking on the kids 273947505 times, I thought about documenting babies' first earthquake.

 I am all about documenting babies' first _____
Babies' first road trip
Babies' first trip to the mall
Babies' first time wearing shorts (Yes, I am that mom that gets excited every time they can wear new outfits.  What can I say I'm a 10 year old girl who gets to dress up her American Girl dolls all day)

That being said, I would have been perfectly fine if the babies never experienced this first.  Ever.  Okay, they didn't know what was going on, but I did and it freaked me out.  Needless to say, we were all shook up over here.  Pun intended.

#momfail

I'm not perfect.  I know, shocking.

There is nothing more humbling than being a first time parent.  Throw another baby in the mix and you're bound to have a #momfail on a daily basis.  Seriously.  Daily.  

My list of 5 months worth of #momfails.   This list will continue, and continue, and continue. . until infinity.  

-Smiling at Finn while he cries because his little pouty bottom lip is so cute I just want to watch him cry.  #momfail

saddest baby, cutest pic.

-Turning my back on the kids sitting in their highchairs after eating only to find the dogs licking both their faces.  #gross #momfail

-Not bringing my stroller on our road trip.  Bring the stroller.  Always bring the stroller. #momfail

-Running out of diapers in my diaper bag while I'm out and about.   #momfail

-Giving the kids a bath before eating dinner. #momfail

-Not cutting Finn's long, straggly, hobo looking head of hair.  #momfail  but mostly #dadfail

-Laughing at Audrey when she whips her arm up and down furiously hitting her head over and over with a rattle. #momfail

-Not cutting their razor sharp finger nails because I'm too scared I'm going to snip their fingers resulting in two Edward Scissor-hands.   #momfail 

-Realzing it's 4pm and I'm still in my PJ's, haven't brushed my teeth, and skipped lunch.  #momfail

-Yelling at my two tiny crying babies to stop crying. #momfail  #mommeltdown

-Laying Audrey down on the floor next to Finn with a rattle in her hand. #hitshimeverytime #momfail

-Putting too much food on the spoon resulting in them snorting sweet potatoes up their nose. #momfail

Adding classy pics like these to the internet.  #momfail

Quick trip to the store. . Not

All I need is milk.
Can't make dinner without it.
Can't eat our breakfast cereal without it.
Can't dunk our after dinner/after babies are asleep cookies without it.

Oh no problem, I'll make a quick trip to the grocery store.  With two babies. Easy.

Mind you this process is 100% easier when I have Wes and/or my mom.  But when both are busy, it's just me making the trek.

First babies have to have just been fed, otherwise we have an all out hunger cry fest.

Next, load Audrey into her car seat.  Load Finn into his car seat.

Make sure the dogs are in the garage, otherwise I'll come home to a lovely sprinkling of trash throughout our house.  Thanks Kona.

Grab a car seat and load em up.  Run back into the house and grab the other car seat.

Flip it in reverse and I'm gone. . wait did I lock the front door?  Ugh who cares.

We make it to the grocery store and we need to find a spot next to a rogue shopping cart.  Got it.  I hop out, play a quick game of eeny meeny miny moe to see who is going in the carrier.  Audrey's the lucky winner.  Load her up in my carrier, pull the shopping cart around, and load Finn up in his car seat in the cart. (Note to self: It is VERY difficult to heave a car seat into a cart wearing another baby.  Try switching that process up next time.  Which I will forget)

Okay, all loaded, and head into the store.  I look down and Audrey's head is wobbling and she's squinting from the sun, and Finn has pulled up his blanket over his head.  They love it, I'm sure of it.

I check my list.  Milk.  That is it!  But I need some veggies for dinner, and some cereal and and and. . seriously there is only room for so much when the majority of your cart is filled with a baby, but I still manage to pile it in around Finn.

Then I always run into some grandma-type lady and the conversation goes like this EVERY time:

Looking at Audrey,"Oh isn't she the sweetest" Audrey looks at her stone-faced.  Stranger danger.
Then Finn makes a peep from the cart.
"Oh my goodness!  Two?!"
"Are they twins?!"
"Two boys?" Poor Audrey.  Everyone always thinks they are two boys.
"Oh. One of each, how perfect.  Are they identical?" No such thing as identical boy/girl twins.  But I get asked this question at least once a day.

I continue on from grandma one, to grandma three and four, weaving in and out of each aisle.

I make it to the register and check my list.  Still only milk.  Crap, forgot to get milk.  Run to the back of the store both babies in tow.

I manage to get everything on my list, and head back to the register.  Sometimes I get a parent who is checking me out who offers to help load my groceries and help me out.  Most of the time I get a punk kid who watches as I struggle to pack my bags up and place them in the cart next to Finn.  Surrounding him with plastic bags.  I'm a good mom, I swear.

Finally get back to my car to unload each baby, and all my groceries, and head home.

Another quick trip to the store done.  Sigh.

My Happy Place

My happy place looks something like this:  Lying somewhere on a beach, sipping a fruity drink, reading a book and listening to the waves crash. Most people's happy place.

Since that is hard to come by now days, I've found tiny little happy places throughout my day.  

My happy places in no particular order:

-Lying on the floor giggling with my babies.  Obviously.

-Yoga.  Since it isn't always easy to get to a yoga class, I've tried doing it from home.  It's not as relaxing when I have two babies, and two dogs, that like to participate too.  Literally Kona loves downward dog, and Midas will come over a flop on my mat.  Great.

-Running.  I never used to like running, but now it's a great way to get exercise, and get away from a house full of crying babies, and barking dogs.

My jogging view

-Baking.  I love baking.  It calms me.  I turn on some music, put the babies in the kitchen with me, and bake til I drop. 

- Dancing around the house.  This is usually after I've baked.  Sugar high maybe? 

-Cinnamon dulce creme frappaccino.  Cinnamon roll in a cup, nuff said.

-The Tonight Show.  With Jimmy Fallon, not Jay Leno.  Throw J. Timberlake in there and it's heaven.

Some days when Wes gets home from a tough day at work, he cracks open a cold one (Faygo rootbeer), puts his feet up, and watches some sporting event.  I know it's been a particularly rough one when he does this.  I believe this is one of his tiny little happy places.

My go-to dance like a crazy person around my house song.

Guaranteed to put a smile on your face, and a tap to your toe. 

Things that make life easy.

Here is a list of gadgets/people I'm so glad I have.  Anything that makes my life easier, I will try.

1) Wes.  So glad he's able to go into work later, and get home in time to put them to bed.  I'm also grateful he still gets up in the middle of the night to help feed.  A process that can easily take 45 min on my own, only takes about 15 min.  Love him.

2) My mom.  When Wes is working, or out of town, my mom steps in big time.  Let's be honest, she loves those babies, and she loves being a first-time grandma.  She watches them whenever we need a date night.  Whenever I need to run to the store.  Whenever I need to work. (okay we work at the same place, but she puts off her work in order to hold a baby so I can get my work done.)  Most importantly, she's taught me how to be a mom.  I've learned from the best.  Love her.

3) Bouncy seats.  Seriously they are awesome.  I have one, and borrowed another.  They are great for them to sit and watch me make dinner, or bounce them to sleep when I'm riding solo and can't rock them both.

4) Double click in stroller.  It's a beast.  Obviously I needed a double stroller, but the fact that my car seats click in easily has been a lifesaver.

Sitting in our stroller

getting ready for our walk

5) Diaper genie.  These babies can poop.  And everyone is lying when they say it doesn't stink.  We go through 145 diapers in 2 weeks, and it is nice to have  a place to throw them and not have to smell that shiz constantly. 

6) Spit rags.  We love the cloth diapers as spit rags.  Audrey is a spitter.  Like projectile spitter.  And Finn likes to hold his spit rag and wipe his own face. He's so proper.

7) Bottles and bottle warmer.  We obviously need bottles since I'm unable to b-feed both babies at the same time.  Yes, I've tried it.  I'd need like 183947 more arms to make that work.  My babies are also picky about temperature, so the warmer has been great.

8) Carriers.  I have a Boba, and I made a Moby wrap.  When I go shopping myself, I usually put one in a carrier, and the other in the car seat in the cart.  When I'm out with Wes, or my mom, we each wear one and we are a lot more mobile than if we put them both in my beast of a stroller. 

9) Swaddle blankets.  We love the muslin ones.  We still swaddle our babies to sleep even though I know that's soon to end.  I use those blankets for everything though.  Finn again likes to hold his blankie and wipe his face.  Or just suck on it. 

10) Sitting up gadgets.  We are now entering the phase were they want to sit up.  We love bumbos, "johnny jumper" swing-like thing that hangs in the doorway, and our exersaucer that my parent's got them for Christmas. 

11) Friends with babies.  I'm so glad to have had friends let me borrow things so that I didn't need to get 2 of everything.  They also went through my registry and let me know which items I actually needed, and which were a waste.  So helpful. 


I'm sure this list will continue to grow as they grow.  As for now, this is our list and we are sticking with it. 

The birth.

When we found out we were pregnant with twins my initial response was, "oh no."  That is a direct quote.  "Oh no," because I was scared I wouldn't be able to carry two babies in my tiny body.  When I asked my Dr. if she was concerned with tiny me having twins, and she, "no, you'll just have small babies."  That put my mind at ease until my belly stretched and stretched, and the babies grew and grew.  I am so grateful that I was able to carry these babies because they were NOT small babies.  I had 13lbs of baby in me! My tummy itched constantly, and my belly button felt like it was going to rip open.

When I was 37+ weeks, and the size of a small hippo, I would get asked all the time if I was nervous.  And to be honest, I wasn't.  The fact that I was having two babies didn't scare me at all.  I knew we would figure it out as we go.  The thing that scared me the most was the physical act of giving birth.  I knew most likely I would have a C-section because of my size, and the positions of my babies.  I had never had surgery before, and I was terrified.  So I hoped and prayed that everything would go smoothly.  Unfortunately that was not the case.

Right before surgery. 

I was 37 weeks and 4 days.  I just got word from my Dr. that I was showing signs of pre-ecclampsia.  (Yes, that is what Kim Kardashian had as well.  What no one else watches that show? pssh neither do I)  I was told to not eat my lunch that day, and to meet at the hospital that afternoon because these babies needed to come out immediately.
 
I sent Wes a text, "thunder cats go!" 

My mom came over to calm me down. 

C-section started at 9pm.  Wes came into the room after I got my epidural.  I was shaking uncontrollably, Wes held my hand, and locked eyes with me.  Some time went by, and I had no idea what was going on behind that curtain.  The Dr. then asked if Wes would like to see what was going on, and he gave a forceful, "no, way!" never breaking eye contact with me.

 Finny came first at 9:45pm.  He clung on to the umbilical cord, and screamed the sweetest little cry I've ever heard.  That's when I lost it.  The nurses showed him to me quickly, while the Dr. worked on Audrey.  She was up high in my ribs, transverse, and she couldn't get her out.  They had to use a vacuum and push super hard on my stomach to get her out.  She came out at 9:47, and they rushed her upstairs to get her breathing without me seeing her.  Wes went with her, and they sent my mom in for back up.  Sometimes a girl just needs her mom.  After that things got fuzzy. 

I had lost a normal amount of blood during my C-section, then in the recovery room, I kept bleeding.  Like a lot.  There was blood everywhere, and I could not keep my eyes open.  Little Finny laid in his swaddle bed right next to me, just staring and blinking at me.  When the nurse came to check on me, I could see the panic in her eyes.  She called for the rapid response team and every nurse/dr in the area came over to help.  There were like 20 people all up in my business.

Once they figured out what caused my bleeding (a certain medication they gave me due to the pre-ecclampsia) they pushed on my tummy to get all the blood clots out.  When I say pushed, they pushed.  Hard.  So much so that they bruised the top of my uterus.  Awesome. 

The next day they gave me a blood transfusion of 3 units.  Slowly but surely I came back to life, and after 4 days in the hospital, we were ready to come home.

First time meeting Audrey.

The short version of this story goes like this:
Lost a lot of blood
Almost died
Wes thought he'd be a single dad.
I now have a stranger's blood in me.
Babies were healthy.
So much so that they were ready to leave a day before I was.
It wasn't easy, but it was so worth it.
Scared to death to have another baby.